Monday, July 27, 2009

Try new batteries

Apparently, 60% of my friends from high school are gay - which I am totally fine with, but I had no idea. NO IDEA.

My gaydar is completely out of whack.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

His name isn't Peter Pan, is it?

I was seeing this guy with whom I had reconnected via Facebook. We had dated previously a couple of years before and had started seeing each other again. Or so I thought. We had gotten together a few times, chatted, emailed and all that. I thought everything was going well. Until out of the blue all contact stopped. Same as the time before. After two weeks of silence, I finally got an email from him, saying he met someone else online and did not feel comfortable seeing me anymore. And he was sorry for the lack of communication and should have been more forward with me. WTF??? I was very upset and I did not respond right away. I was too angy and figured he could wait a bit since he made me wait two weeks. After about a week I noted that he had unfriended me on Facebook. How junior high can you get? Did I mention that we are both mid-30s?

Monday, July 20, 2009

He's outside your window right now

Growing up there was a kid in my neighborhood who was more than a little strange.

He apparently had a crush on me, but I was really too stupid and young to understand. He began by 'doorbell ditching' a mixed tape with that I (remember - too stupid and young) thought was unrelated to the doorbell ring and threw away. Now, that's not strange, but then it progressively got worse as he invited me to a pool party wherein I was unknowingly the only guest. He proceeded to bring me to his room to show me his collection of My Little Pony dolls, requesting that we hold one together. I left quickly, not knowing what to make of him. He then spread a rumor that we had been intimate that day (whatever a child's notion of that is..) - I was upset and decided to stop being kind.

Days later he watched with his eerie wide eyed stare as I played basketball and interrupted to dare me to a play fight. This was a bit scary because I'd never been in a fight, I was a girl and he was a boy and larger than me. I firmly refused and turned to go home. He immediately swung me around and I got a slap square in the face. After a second to recover I slapped him back and left in a fury. Later the same day there was a ring at the doorbell and one of my parents (can't remember) answered. There was the boy, weeping and burbling, with his grandfather looking for answers. I don't remember being questioned or punished for the incident. Though it was easy to see the boy was odd.

I did not want cross paths with him again.

Unfortunately this was impossible as we walked to the same grade school. Day after day he would follow me home, wordlessly throwing little rocks at my heals and pausing occasionally to pick up more from the road. It stung, but I was very hard-headed and refused to speak to him, to show any reaction. One afternoon there was one particular rock that stung more than usual. I crouched quickly and grabbed my ankle. There on my white sock was a dot of red. That was it. I was finished with him.
I rushed toward him and linked my cupped hands with his. His reserves of little pebbles jabbed us both and I squeezed as hard as I could.

I don't recall if I'd said anything to him, but I know my sentiment was clear.
"Please stop." He whispered,"You're hurting me."

There was no more rock-throwing. We never spoke or interacted again.

Fast-forward twenty years. He finds me on Myspace. He finds me on Facebook. Sends me messages, wanting to 'catch up' and see 'what I'm doing these days.' Catch up?! On what?! Him being completely bizarre and me avoiding him as much as possible? What sort of made-up friendship does he think we had? Of the handful of encounters we had, all were brief and creepy.
Of course, these requests have been deleted without an answer.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Best served Cold

We knew each other in high school. We were both nice middle class girls. You're probably a millionaire, as you are the head of a thriving money management firm. I live in a nice little suburban ranch home with a low paying public service job, but guess what!! I control 1.5 million dollars of family assets that we keep a deep dark secret. All of my family members live quiet, modest lives and smile when we check our bank balances and our five safe deposit boxes. I pretend that I live paycheck to paycheck like all of my friends do.

I sent you a friend invite and you have not replied. You friended the girl who turned on me like a vicious animal when I tried to maintain a friendship after high school, saying she had to move on. No problem. I was considering putting my money with your firm, but you can forget that now. I am an educated person and can probably do just as well on my own with the family money--so far, so good.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

You know that I know that you know what you said

I belonged to a message board for moms for over 4 years and of course we're all friends on Facebook as well. It's a small private group and really close. Unfortunately, the friendships weren't strong enough to last during the past election. Conversations got really heated at times and I guess that made people a little (understatement) touchy.
During a conversation that was actually mild, so mild I can't even remember it...I apparently upset one of my friends. In turn she "unfriended" me on Facebook. I could tell from her message board posts that I had upset her and immediately sent a private message to apologize for whatever I had said that upset her. To which she informed me that I had been "unfriended" on Facebook. This all occurred in the span of just a few minutes.
I really was hurt. Like I mentioned we were close (I thought) and whatever I had said to upset her truly was mild, forgettable and obviously misunderstood.
This friend had decided she overreacted within an hour or so and sent a friend request to which I ignored. She then began sending me many, many apologetic messages begging me to "take her back". I finally relented a couple days later. Some time after that the overall group had just gotten too negative with the election and I stopped visiting there, choosing to keep up with everyone on Facebook instead.
The total irony of this all is in the past several months since this occurred she had a birthday, a high risk pregnancy, preterm and NICU baby for 6 weeks and another child who has had illnesses and accomplishments. Throughout this time I've sent her messages on Facebook, comments, cards in the mail all acknowledging whatever she was going through...and she has never once responded to any of it. I am so tempted to "unfriend" this friend.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Divorce = Lets hang out together and be friends

For two years I was married to a man I grew to despise. In our dysfunctional relationship we exchanged "f*ck you" much more often than "love you". When I filed for divorce, he refused to sign the papers, insisting that I was HIS WIFE and he didn't have to let me go.

When he finally realized that the court was not going to force me to stay married to him, he signed the papers with the threat that I'd better not marry anyone else, or he would kill the man.

Four years later, he finds me on Facebook and sends me a friend request. When I ignored it, he sent another one, asking me why we can't be friends. I ignored that one too.

I guess some people just don't get it.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Maybe she meant it in an affectionate way?

My buddy's crazy bitch ex tries to add me every two weeks. After the 3rd time I said "Can you please stop sending me requests? You left my best friend and 3 of your children to live with your internet lover and have never visited them nor paid child support. Before this you called me a bitch whore for suggesting you and XXX might want to attempt therapy and told me you never wanted to see my ugly face again."

The message she sent back was more of the same... but she still tries to add me as a friend every two weeks LOL