Sunday, July 12, 2009

You know that I know that you know what you said

I belonged to a message board for moms for over 4 years and of course we're all friends on Facebook as well. It's a small private group and really close. Unfortunately, the friendships weren't strong enough to last during the past election. Conversations got really heated at times and I guess that made people a little (understatement) touchy.
During a conversation that was actually mild, so mild I can't even remember it...I apparently upset one of my friends. In turn she "unfriended" me on Facebook. I could tell from her message board posts that I had upset her and immediately sent a private message to apologize for whatever I had said that upset her. To which she informed me that I had been "unfriended" on Facebook. This all occurred in the span of just a few minutes.
I really was hurt. Like I mentioned we were close (I thought) and whatever I had said to upset her truly was mild, forgettable and obviously misunderstood.
This friend had decided she overreacted within an hour or so and sent a friend request to which I ignored. She then began sending me many, many apologetic messages begging me to "take her back". I finally relented a couple days later. Some time after that the overall group had just gotten too negative with the election and I stopped visiting there, choosing to keep up with everyone on Facebook instead.
The total irony of this all is in the past several months since this occurred she had a birthday, a high risk pregnancy, preterm and NICU baby for 6 weeks and another child who has had illnesses and accomplishments. Throughout this time I've sent her messages on Facebook, comments, cards in the mail all acknowledging whatever she was going through...and she has never once responded to any of it. I am so tempted to "unfriend" this friend.


  1. While she might be very busy, I say unfriend her. She's a non-friend, so why let her peek into your life via facebook?

  2. She doesn't sound like much of a friend. For her benefit, though, if she's had a baby in the NICU and another sick child, she may have been depressed and overwhelmed with everything going on. But if she has time to post all that on FB, then she could take 2 minutes to acknowledge your kindness.

  3. You don't sound like much of a friend either. I think you never grew out of the mentality that when someone harms you you should harm them back.

    Good job making her beg. You sure showed character.

  4. Ditto what that first anonymous said. from a different anonymous -- Do you send cards and messages for a reaction or to show you care?

  5. How about communicating with this person directly - message her, say you notice she hasn't been in touch, is she feeling OK, can you help in some way? You know.... be a real friend rather than a FB friend.

  6. This is silly...who your friends with on facebook and what happens on facebook should not dictate who your friends in real life. If I was going through a high risk pregnancy the last thing on my mind would be to go on facebook. And everyone gets sensitive around elections - y'all are friends: remember what you like about each and move past all this silliness.